Bumps and Babies: Week 22 Recap

 I was honestly going to skip this update...

But I knew I'd regret skipping

So here we are!

I tried thinking about how to update without being repetitive...

I couldn't think of anything significantly different that happened this past week. So I thought, "Do I just skip this until I have something juicy to share?" 

 

But I think that's what pregnancy is. Sometimes days feel the same. Or there is so much going on throughout your days, you don't realize that a whole week has gone by. Orrrrrrr you are slowly adjusting to these crazy little changes.

 

That's me! How is it that I feel like I just wrapped up week 21, and I'm already sitting here telling you about my 22nd week carrying this little rolie polie Peanut.

 I think the biggest update I have is how active Grey has been.  I'm so active during the day, doing house things and finding something new to clean or redo - that I don't notice his movements as much. But at night...

 

I've heard that when babies come, they are prone to being awake at night because that's when they were awake in the womb. So when I lay down at night, I feel like that's our quality time together because little Grey has his PM party pants on.

 

I talk to him, tell him about my day, and we lay there together. And when Austin's off of work he gets to lay with us and hold my belly until Grey decides to acknowledge him and throws some solid jabs. 

 

"Was that him? How about that? Woah, that was a big one!"

His comments are so sweet and his excitement melts my heart. I forget that Peanuts movements are such an everyday thing for me, Austin doesn't feel what I feel regularly.

There are moments during the day, sometimes, when I lay down and stay super still to make sure he is okay. And of course, I panic when he doesn't move on command.

Austin and I had a date night a few nights ago. It involved lots of food that probably isn't the best for #healthyliving - but it was delicious :) And usually after eating dinner - especially after a sweet treat following a meal - Grey goes W I L D.

I sat in bed and waited.

Nothing.

Of course I got worried.

I'm starting to realize that the "Pre Mom Panic," is real. Maybe it's a version of mom guilt? But it's a heart wrenching, gut aching, terrifying feeling that you've done something wrong - or that baby is not okay.

Maybe it's because I can't physically see him or hold him, so I can't be 1000% sure everything is fine. BUT I also know when he IS here, I'm going to be in the same kind of panic, but in a different way.

I can't tell you how many times I've gotten teary eyed with worry because there is this nagging thought of "I'm not good enough."

Boy oh boy, the enemy good at sneaking those scary thoughts into our minds, isn't he? But I have to remind myself that the good Lord picked me to be Greysons momma for a reason - so He must know I'll do something right.

 But back to freaking out because I couldn't feel movements after eating...

I had to put my mind at rest. So what did I do? I used my power, called my mom and asked her to use her at home ultrasound machine to check on Peanut.

Sure enough, there he was! Sucking on his fingers and rolling around. It's funny how the brain works, because as soon as I physically saw him moving, I began to feel him.

There is just something about this wild journey that makes you feel so vulnerable. You walk on eggshells sometimes and any kind of "crack" sends you into a spiral of worry.

 Well...speaking for myself and my pregnancy, anyway. I'm naturally a worrier - can you tell? 😅

But, that's how it is, right? None of us really know what we are doing and everything feels new and scary. Our bodies are doing things that they have never done before. You think about the fact that you have bones, organs, muscles, and a blood type different from yours all brewing inside. It will never NOT blow my mind. And you're constantly building this special, unimaginable connection with a little human that you haven't even met yet.

Speaking of wanting to do everything right, I'm set on having my house perfect buy the time Peanut makes his grand entrance - because I know being able to do home remodels with a newborn seems very unlikely. But I also think I'm hitting hardcore nesting.

Did Austin and I bite off more than we can chew? Not necessarily...but did we decide to do a lot while I'm not able to do much because 🤰? I think so...

Thank goodness for my dad who has single-handedly painted most of our 1,980 square foot home in a matter of days while Austin and I replace, repaint, redo, and remodel other parts of the house. And it's a huge blessing that Austins aunt has graciously offered to personally paint  Greys accent wall in a Jungle theme design.

I think we would be lost without all of the help and support we are getting.

It'll all come together.

And like I said - I'm determined to finish before February 11th, 2023...or whatever date Peanut decides to show up.

As I sit here and write this blog, I feel this little guy doing his daily cardio in preparation for his nightly marathon. 

And I can't help but fall more and more in love with this baby.

As I quickly approach month 6 out of 9...what are we learning?

- I'm terrified, but excited

- Pregnancy can be beautiful and hard...and it's okay to feel that it's both

- Nesting is intense

-  I feel like by the time I'm fully adjusted to being pregnant, it's going to be time to put my mom pants on for a newborn. And that will be a whole new adventure 😅